A Partner’s Guide to Supporting Someone with PMDD
by Camilla Brinkworth, Naturopath, PMDD Specialist & Founder of PMDD Naturopath and Camilla Clare Holistic Health
When I first began sharing about PMDD in my clinic, I noticed something striking — it wasn’t just the women who were struggling. Their partners were too. Often confused, frightened, or walking on eggshells, they desperately wanted to help but didn’t know how.
PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) affects not only the individual living through it but also those closest to them. The emotional shifts, fatigue, and nervous system sensitivity that arise cyclically can put immense pressure on relationships. Yet with understanding and compassion, PMDD can become a shared journey of healing rather than a dividing one.
Understanding Cyclical Changes
PMDD follows a clear rhythm: symptoms appear after ovulation (in the luteal phase) and ease within a few days of menstruation. This timing is key. Knowing that your partner’s emotional or physical changes are cyclical — not constant — helps you respond with perspective rather than personalisation.
In my practice, one client’s partner began marking her cycle days on a shared calendar. It wasn’t to “monitor” her, but to remind himself, “This is the tender phase — she needs gentleness, not logic.” That small act transformed how they communicated.
Partners who recognise this cyclical nature can offer steadiness during the storm, without taking symptoms as rejection or unpredictability.
Validate Emotions Without Fixing
During the luteal phase, emotional sensitivity increases. What may seem like an overreaction is often a nervous system in survival mode. The most supportive thing you can do is validate, not fix.
Try phrases like:
“I can see you’re really struggling right now.”
“You don’t have to hold it together — I’m here.”
“Would you like me to listen, or do you need some space?”
Validation tells your partner, “Your feelings make sense.” It diffuses shame and invites safety — two things the nervous system needs most during PMDD.
Helping with Nervous System Regulation
PMDD symptoms are often amplified by stress dysregulation. When cortisol and adrenaline stay high, emotional reactivity increases. Gentle, grounding support can make a remarkable difference.
Encourage calming rituals — not as commands, but as offerings of care. A warm magnesium bath, soft lighting in the evening, or even slow breathing together can help reset the body’s stress response.
One couple I worked with created a “quiet time” ritual: each evening, they sat together without screens, holding hands and breathing for five minutes. Over time, this became their shared nervous system anchor — a way to meet beneath the words when emotions ran high.
Participate in the Healing Journey
Partners often feel powerless, but your involvement can be deeply healing. Attend appointments when possible, learn about PMDD, and ask your partner how you can help implement changes — whether that’s cooking nourishing meals, reminding her to rest, or supporting new routines.
When partners show curiosity rather than frustration, it reduces the sense of isolation that many women with PMDD carry. Healing becomes a shared project of understanding, trust, and teamwork.
Supporting Your Own Wellbeing
It’s equally important to acknowledge that partners also need care. Supporting someone with PMDD can be emotionally taxing. Set boundaries, find supportive friends or therapists, and take breaks when needed. Your steadiness is valuable — but not at the cost of your own regulation.
The healthiest relationships are those where both people feel seen and supported. PMDD challenges communication, but it can also deepen empathy and connection when approached consciously.
Turning PMDD into Partnership Growth
PMDD can strain even strong relationships, but it can also invite greater self-awareness, compassion, and emotional maturity for both partners. When couples learn to navigate it together — with understanding rather than blame — it often strengthens their bond.
If you and your partner are navigating PMDD and finding it difficult to stay connected, know that you’re not alone. I offer both individual and couple sessions focused on understanding the emotional and physiological layers of PMDD, using integrative naturopathic and trauma-informed methods to restore balance.
Author Bio
Camilla Brinkworth is a naturopath, nutritionist, and Family Constellations facilitator specialising in PMDD and women’s hormonal health. Having personally healed from PMDD, she now supports women and couples worldwide through her clinics — PMDD Naturopath and Camilla Clare Holistic Health — combining natural medicine, trauma-informed care, and relationship healing.